I was wondering if I should even do a post about this. Then I thought why not.
James used to have hair just past his shoulders. He has had high lights in his hair previously so when he told me he wanted to die the entire thing – I had no problem. In the same breath, he told me that he wanted to cut his hair. I know it is only hair and it will grow back but I really didn’t want him to. I know this is stupid plus I know it will grow back.
He cut his hair and every few weeks asked if he could cut it again. His hard is now above his ears with three triangles at the back of his head. His hair is now blue/green.
From the long hair to the short. Wow has things have really changed.
BTW – he first got the triangles at Pride and love them. I must admit his hair really does look good. I didn’t ever think I would say that but here I am.
James comment – he says he looks dam fine with his hair. He has informed me this style will stay for a bit. The triangles are here to stay.
As I said this is in no order, mainly because I forgot the chain of events. I guess this is because so many things happened in such a short period of time. I am also old. LOL
When I was doing research where to ask for help I decided to call CTYS. I called CTYS because my other son has a counsellor from there. The counsellor my other son has is amazing and was hoping for another great experience. This is where I learnt of the parent support group that meets once a month, counselling for family, counselling for James, etc. The experience dealing with them on this issue was ok. I was hoping for a better experience.
CTYS was helpful but I really needed more information and help to sort everything out.
James dad and myself go to the parent support group which is run by parents and CTYS. We are on the wait list for a course in September. We meet with someone from CTYS to see if we qualify for family counselling and James could get counselling. It turns out we were not qualified for family counselling because there were no issues in the home regarding James. This was disappointing. CTYS also explained counselling for James and he wasn’t interested at the time. I believe this is still an option for him when and if he decides he wants counselling.
When I told a few people from work, it was amazing the support. A lady I work with is a friend with a family that is going through the same adventure/experience. She connected us. She was very helpful at answering my questions. She said that if I need anything else, please call or email her. I thought this was so nice of her. She really helped me out.
I remembered I know a trans. I wasn’t friends with him but I knew him enough to say hi to and to make small talk with. He has always been so nice. I sent an emailing apologizing if I am intruding on their life. He helped me by talking and emailing me. He is were I got some of the wording for the email that I sent out to close family and friends. I don’t think I really acknowledge when he transition and now I feel terrible. I was ignorant. I hope he will forgive me one day. To this day he says if I have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact him. This is so amazing of him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To this day, James dad has not done any research. He still believes it is a phase. Many people are giving him advice. I know he has to do with what he feels comfortable with. I just wished he stopped listening to so many people. He needs to listen to himself and what he thinks and feels.
James comment – I think it’s nice for people helping my mom with me being trans. I am happy my parents are going to a support group so the can understand things a bit better.
My son is going to start grade 9 so it will be his first year of high school. When he came out I thought it was a good idea to meet with the school. I also thought it was a good idea that James comes with me.
I called the high school before it closed for the summer and got an appointment in guidance along with the social worker for the school. I was dreading this appointment and wasn’t sure what to expect. I am not too sure if James thought anything of this.
I wanted to meet the high school so James would be safe and know his options.
We meet with a guidance counsellor at the school and he was great. The counsellor asked permission to email a note to all his teacher to call him by James and that he identifies as a male so use the male pronoun. He also made a note on his file on the computer. He went over James schedule and we got to make adjustments. James asked some questions that he was concerned about. One being gym. We can deal with the gym issue later in the upper years when their is a co-ed gym class. I was happy that we met the counsellor. He was amazing and sensitive to the situation.
Next was the social worker. What a nice lady. She was so understanding. She assured us that James was not the only trans person at the school. She would like James to check in at least once a month for the first bit to ensure he is comfortable and feels safe. She told James many times that if he is in a situation that makes him feel uncomfortable, go see her right away or his guidance counsellor. There is also a LGBTQ2 club at the school if he was interested. She also told him about other clubs at the school.
We were both so blown away with the interaction with the high school. Things went so much better than I had hoped. We both left feeling very good.
On a side note – when we met with the guidance counsellor he told us that the high school is offering summer school in July that James could take. It was only offered to incoming grade 9 students plus he would get a credit for doing summer school. James decided to register and he had a great time. He never once complained about getting up or the distance he had to travel. It takes him approximately one hour to get to school by TTC. He loved summer school plus he is now familiar with the school and has met other students. He became friends with a few other children who attended summer school. A great experience!
I am hoping this is going to be a beginning of a wonderful experience for him. As long as he is safe – that’s all that matter. Oh ya, happy as well. LOL
James comment – the first student I met at summer school was another trans child. I felt very comfortable going to this new school.
James had his 1st injection on July 8th by a friend. It went really well. My friend did it so quick that he didn’t realize it happened. No side effects plus he wasn’t sore from it. Great 1st injection day.
August 8th my friend could not give James his injection so he had to go to his pediatrician. This was the first time James went to the pediatrician by himself. Plus he had to get the injection. He made it there on time and found it ok. Usually, I drive him but this time he had to take TTC. James said the needle hurt more from the doctor then from our friend. LOL Again, no side effects but this time a bit of a sore leg. He did not have his period after this injection.
My friend gave James this injection. There is nothing to say about this but all went well.
James comments – he was happy to start the injections. The doctor still hurt more. I like going to my mom friend. I love not having my period. This makes me feel mire like a male. Loving it!!
We went to Sick Children’s Hospital for this injection. James had to get blood taken to ensure his levels are good or this is what I think. We had a chat with the Doctor. The Doctor was asking James how he was doing plus was asking me how I thought he was doing plus the family. All is going well with James. The Doctor gave James the needle and said see you in 3 months. James was happy that he gets the needle once every three months now.
I will be putting two visits at Sick Children’s Hospital in one post.
Initial visit to the Gender Clinic. We (James and I) meet with the Social Worker. The Social Worker introduced the Doctor who will be seeing us. The Social Worker told us the next step would be injections of the medicine leuprorelin. She gave us some information about it and said on our next visit we should tell them if we would like to proceed. If I am correct, the medicine will stop James from going through female puberty. They also explained on the next visit James would be having a physical which would in tale looking at his development of breast and pubic hair. The clinic needs to know how far along he is in puberty. They also gave us a requisition for blood work and X-ray on his hand. Both of these also tell them how far along in puberty he is. Asked if we had any questions. It was a very short visit but informative.
Before our next visit to Sick Children’s Hospital we (James, James dad, and myself) all looked over the information about leuprorelin. James was not happy it was an injection but thought he could suck it up. James is totally in for this. I have my doubts and his dad is not in agreement. He finally agrees with resistance.
Next visit to Sick Children’s
The doctor looked at James pubic hair and breast development behind a curtain while I was in the room. I think the Social Work was in the room behind the curtain as well. James was really good at this. Like any other kid, he was nervous about this.
The doctor and Social Worker asked if we looked over the information for leuprorelin and and asked if we had any questions. Things were going along well until the doctor handed me the prescription. I could feel my eyes tear up but I held it back. It really hit home more when he handed the prescription to me. I know this is silly but it was a terrible moment for me. James was ok with it.
The doctor told us for the next three months once a month he will be getting this injection. We can go to our family doctor or a clinic to get it done. Luckily, we have a friend that knows how to give needles.
We have a follow up visit in three months with the doctor. Before we go in October, blood work has to be done.
James comments – he said he was nervous for examination and hated the idea of a needle. He was excited to start the process and transitioning even more.
You would think this is no big deal. We have done this many times as a family but never with a transchild. I never gave this any thought.
I am going to lump my experiences thus far in this one post. I don’t recall which came first but I guess it really doesn’t matter.
Cinpelex (Cineplex)……..depending what Cineplex location you go to things could be fine or not. The location in Brampton (SilverCity Brampton Cinemas) was not problems because they have a handicapped bathroom. No problem. Silly me thought this wouldn’t be a problem at other locations – WRONG. We went to a location in downtown Toronto (Cineplex Cinemas Yonge-Dundas and VIP), we encountered a problem. The handicapped bathrooms are located inside the gender bathrooms. James isn’t comfortable going into the ladies and doesn’t want to use men’s by himself yet. I also don’t feel comfortable. I hunted down a manager and explained my problem. They could not come up with a solution so we had to walk to Ryerson University (Ryerson University) to go to the bathroom. Thank goodness it was not far away. Does this sound silly? Why don’t they have a bathroom that trans can use? Is this fair? I don’t have all the answers to these question but it definitely annoyed me.
Tucker’s Marketplace (Tucker’s Marketplace)……..we went to the airport location. AMAZING, nothing but AMAZING. I spoke to the manager who was on and she didn’t know the solution at that moment but a few minutes later came back with one. There were two managers on duty – one female and the other male. One of the managers kept looking into the men’s washroom and when it was empty – one of the managers got us. The managers ACTUALLY closed the bathroom until he was done. They both made sure nobody went in and I waited outside with the managers. They both were so accommodating and I felt they went over and above. By chance, the President of the company was there and I spoke with him for a few minutes. He was so nice and understanding. This was the best experience yet.
James comments – he was so happy with the Tucker’s Marketplace experience. He was not happy with the Cineplex experience. He has an app on his phone that is called Refuge Restroom which helps a lot. You need WIFI for this app.
James was so excited when we went shopping for some boys clothes. He was going to Ottawa for a school trip and need some new clothes. I was dreading this day. I put on a happy face because I knew James was excited. This was our first shopping trip since he came out. Sigh
We had to buy a binder, shorts and t-shirts. For the binder we went to Come As You Are (Come As You Are) plus Bluenotes’ (Bluenotes’).
The person at Come As You Are (Come As You Are) was truly amazing. They helped James and I buy a binder plus a swim top. Come As You Are is also a sex shop. This shocked me. James got to try on various binders plus swim tops. I cried while James tried on binders and swim tops. The person at the counter understood which was amazing. This was a wonderful experience. The person at the counter said it was so nice to see a parent coming with their child. I did ask them many questions about binders and swim tops which they answered without hesitation. This was a very good experience. We will have to go back again to buy more binders.
Next was lunch at The Burger’s Priest (The Burger’s Priest). It was nice to have lunch with James, as we don’t get to have lunch together. At lunch we talked about our experience at Come As You Are.
Onto Bluenotes’ (Bluenotes’) now for shorts and t-shirts. James headed right to the boys section and within minutes found shorts and t-shirts. I made him try them on. He was so excited and in his element. We ended up buying him shorts, t-shirts and a bathing suit.
He was exhausted from shopping so we went right home. He showed his dad all his new items with excitement. I went to my room and cried. I guess because it was real. I know this sounds silly but it hit me hard.
Later that night James dad and myself went out for gas and I told him how hard it was for me. When I was telling James dad about the day, the tears came out again. I was morning the lose of my little girl but gaining a son.
This was such an emotional day but it was so nice to see James so happy. He has found himself and is comfortable with himself. I am so proud of him. I think it is hard for people to be comfortable with themselves never mind being trans. I am still learning to be comfortable with me as a 47 year old women.
James comments – he said that was a good day because he finally got some boys clothes of his own. He use to “borrow” his older brothers tops. We also wondered where they all went. He could finally dress the way he wanted and was very comfortable. He enjoyed the day very much.