James was a bit late coming home from school on the day he left the note for us.
When he got home, he came to my bedroom and I gave him the longest hug and kiss. I must have told him a thousand times that I love and so proud of him plus he will always be my kid. I remember him saying ok I get it.
Before he got home from school I googled transgendered children and found lots of information. Thank goodness for Google.
I had lots of questions for him. Here are some of the questions and his answers (I cannot remember the exact order of the questions).
Why a note? I thought you could talk to me about anything.
-we can but I felt comfortable this way
What do you think I would do?
-wasn’t quite sure
-I like the name
Do your friends know and how did they react?
-few close friends know and they are fine with it
How long have you felt this way?
-about a year, I was confused about everything
He then asked if he could tell the rest of his class and teachers, I asked him to hold off for a few days. I need to wrap my head around this. James wanted to hit the ground running with this.
I reminded him that dad and his brother didn’t know yet. I told James that I would talk to them each alone and then we will have a family meeting to talk openly about this. He thought this was a good idea.
I told him that I would have lots of questions the coming days, months, etc. He said he would answer my questions as best as he could.
I also assured him that I won’t do anything without first consulting him. I want him to be comfortable with everything that I was doing. The information that I read said to take the lead from your child and make sure they are comfortable.
I told him that I would make a doctors appointment so he can talk to his doctor and Sick Kids doctor. I wanted to make sure he was sure about this and he wasn’t confused. I knew one of them would know the next step to take.
I then called his dad and told him we needed to talk when he got home and we would be going out. I told his dad everything was ok but we needed to talk about our daughter.
James comments – don’t press your child to come out – they will do it when they are ready. Plus NEVER EVER call your transgender child by their birth name if you are extremely mad at them. In school, he read a book called Beautiful Music for Ugly Children. This book is about a transgender female to male. He thinks this is a really good book to read but it is fiction and made by a cis person.