Talk After School

James was a bit late coming home from school on the day he left the note for us.

When he got home, he came to my bedroom and I gave him the longest hug and kiss.  I must have told him a thousand times that I love and so proud of him plus he will always be my kid. I remember him saying ok I get it.

Before he got home from school I googled transgendered children and found lots of information. Thank goodness for Google.

I had lots of questions for him. Here are some of the questions and his answers (I cannot remember the exact order of the questions).

Why a note? I thought you could talk to me about anything.

-we can but I felt comfortable this way

What do you think I would do?

-wasn’t quite sure

Why James?

-I like the name

Do your friends know and how did they react?

-few close friends know and they are fine with it

How long have you felt this way?

-about a year, I was confused about everything

He then asked if he could tell the rest of his class and teachers, I asked him to hold off for a few days. I need to wrap my head around this.  James wanted to hit the ground running with this.

I reminded him that dad and his brother didn’t know yet. I told James that I would talk to them each alone and then we will have a family meeting to talk openly about this. He thought this was a good idea.

I told him that I would have lots of questions the coming days, months, etc. He said he would answer my questions as best as he could.

I also assured him that I won’t do anything without first consulting him. I want him to be comfortable with everything that I was doing.  The information that I read said to take the lead from your child and make sure they are comfortable.

I told him that I would make a doctors appointment so he can talk to his doctor and Sick Kids doctor. I wanted to make sure he was sure about this and he wasn’t confused.  I knew one of them would know the next step to take.

I then called his dad and told him we needed to talk when he got home and we would be going out.  I told his dad everything was ok but we needed to talk about our daughter.

James comments – don’t press your child to come out – they will do it when they are ready. Plus NEVER EVER call your transgender child by their birth name if you are extremely mad at them. In school, he read a book called Beautiful Music for Ugly Children.  This book is about a transgender female to male. He thinks this is a really good book to read but it is fiction and made by a cis person.

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Author: transchildren

I am a 47 year old female mom with 2 great sons. This is our story about a transgender child. I have lots to learn. I look forward to this adventure.

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